Lord Java, Have Mercy on Me

coffee is god
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

I know there's a lot of important stuff happening in the world. I know that hurricanes have ravaged some, um, places. And that Karl Rove is a lying hounddog and that George Bush should be lighting matches under his shoes right this very minute. I know that other really important things are happening. I know that I speak English. And that I should be able to formulate a complete thought; even a fairly deep one. Maybe even something theological.

But I went off of coffee about three days ago -- or was it two? --- and my brain isn't working. I used to be this snappy person with quick opinions and big plans. And organizational skills. Also, I could drive and think at the same time.

But now it's really broiling out and I have a constant pounding headache (don't worry, I'm staying hydrated) and I have become a mouth breather. Because I don't have iced coffee, you see.

A kindly female colleague said to me today, in all sympathy, "Oh, it takes three to six months to get out of your system." I wanted to respond, "I'm sorry, you must have heard me wrong. It's coffee I've given up, not crack cocaine." That would have been funny. Except that I was too busy breathing through my slightly open mouth and trying to keep my eyes open to respond.

Three to six months!!?? That's not true, is it? Not even if you have a really lot of fat tissue? And especially if you only ever drank one big mug a day (with maybe a little tea in the afternoon, or a diet cola?)?

But I feel so much calmer and less jittery without the coffee I am going to continue to abstain and just wait and see if the brain comes back.

Nap. Nap time. Naps good.