Monday, July 11, 2005

SPF! SPF!

I walked along the beach yesterday, picking my way over bajillions of sun-worshipers. I've never seen so much impending melanoma in my life. Women were slathering on BABY OIL as if they'd never heard of such a thing as the depleted ozone.
I saw horrifyingly burned, leathery skin everywhere I looked, me in my SPF 45 and spray-on tanned legs. I wanted to be the Skin Cancer Fairy and spray titanium dioxide on the worst cases, but I figured I might end up in Davy Jones' Locker if I tried it.


Jessica Orange Simpson
(Jessica Simpson: Princess of the Bad Faux Tan)

My father and siblings always got these gorgeous tans. Me, I got my shiksa mother's rosy pin- and-white skin. On family vacations my father would be baking on a chaise by the pool and when I asked if I looked burned, would shade his eyes with his hand, look over at me, and say, "You look fine. You can stay out another hour." Meanwhile, it never quite penetrated his skull that sunburns take time to develop, and that I was inevitably headed that night for a vinegar bath, a miserable sleep on scratchy cotton sheets, and skin the shade of Contadina tomato paste.

Teens, if there are any of you out there in PeaceBang land, I'm talking especially to you: SPF! SPF! Reapply after swimming or sweating!

I myself have developed a love of protective eye creams, and am particularly fond right now of Kiehl's eye gel with SPF 30. I swear my crow's feet have improved in the past year.

7 Comments:

Blogger Chalicechick said...

I am all about the Neutrogena SPF 45. I just learned about it from TheCSO's mom recently. You've neve had a sunblock that goes on so well.

CC

13:44  
Blogger boyinthebands said...

Coming from a ethnic salad-bar, I've been blessed with the kind of skin that lets me tan beautifully but not get pulled over by police. I think Mom put some SPF 2 on me when I was a kid. Once.

But when you love someone with skin like wax paper, you do become more sympathetic.

19:26  
Blogger David said...

I think Bowie had some lyrics that described my tan in Ziggy Stardust . I keep a "snow white" tan year round. One has to wonder about those who bake themselves in the sun or grab a tan in those tanning "ovens". I've exposed myself to enough and it would be a shame for the sun to get me. Not the death I want to be remembered for.

23:02  
Blogger Dan Harper said...

hey scott, people of all skin hues are at risk for skin cancer. plus, too much sun exposure can lead to early cataracts (and sun glasses often don't provide adequate protection for eyes). besides, you wanna have prematurely aged skin?

so here's "the straight guy's eye for sunstruck guys":

chalice chick is right, neutrogena spf 45 is great, it moisturizes and keeps your skin looking young. to protect the eyes, try a snappy broad-brimmed hat like tilley's t3 model, or a classic panama straw. just remember, melanoma is one of the worst fashion faux-pas you can make.

00:19  
Blogger Dan Harper said...

hey scott, people of all skin hues are at risk for skin cancer. besides, you wanna have prematurely aged skin? plus, too much sun exposure can lead to early cataracts (and sun glasses often don't provide adequate protection for eyes).

so here's "the straight guy's eye for sun-loving guys":

chalice chick is right, neutrogena spf 45 is great, it moisturizes and keeps your skin looking young. to protect the eyes, try a snappy broad-brimmed hat like tilley's t3 model, or a classic panama straw. just remember, melanoma is one of the worst fashion faux-pas you can make.

00:21  
Blogger PeaceBang said...

Now I'm going to have visions of Dan Harper slathering on the Neutrogena every time I put mine on. Dan, you're de trop.

09:48  
Blogger boyinthebands said...

I wonder what the SPF of a library roof is, seeing as that was my childhood sunblock strategy.

As for the time when I have to be outside -- say, walking from the Hirshhorn to the National Gallery -- I'll take advantage of my slightly darker than white skin tone, and the slight risk that follows.

Sun cover, after all, can be overdone, as evidenced in a startling rash of rickets, a vitamin D deficiency associated with Dickensian gloom.

18:32  

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