Hello, My Name is Ben And I'll Be Your Waiter This Evening
Ya gotta love a guy who defends the presence of RATS in restaurants.
As far as my own kitchen safety at home goes, honey, I'm about to put on some disposable surgical gloves and get that chicken in the oven, after which I will obsessively scrub every surface with bleachy hot water and soap.
One of the reasons I can't stand watching Rachael Ray cook is that she flings around fresh vegetables with the same icky hands she just handled raw meat with. Yeeeeeech.