Anna Nicole Smith
You hadn't HEARD, right? Because you don't follow celebrity gossip like PeaceBang does, and you were watching the SERIOUS news all day, where they didn't mention it.
I have to admit that when I heard the news I definitely had an emotional reaction. Which is strange, but just a testament to how effective the whole Rupert Murdoch We Own Your Brain phenomenon is on my apparently impressionable little mind.
Anna Nicole wasn't someone I thought that I was remotely interested in even as a curiosity. I watched a few minutes of her MTV show a few times and stayed glued to the tv in open-mouthed horror until I willed myself to reach for the remote kind of like you reach for a crucifix when Dracula comes around. I have to say, Anna Nicole's special combination of relentless self-promotion and excruciating drug-addled haplessness was mesmerizing. And of course she had those ridiculous, parodic bazooms and the peroxide blonde Hollwood Aphrodite archetypal thing going. Poor kid.
Yesterday at the gym I tried hard to concentrate on my podcast of "Speaking Of Faith" while distracting images of naughty astronauts flashe on the row of televisions parked in front of the treadmills and I thought, "O Lord, please let me get through this week without having to find out what that's all about." I still don't know. I'm not missing anything serious, am I?
And now, every channel will be the All Anna Nicole, All The Time. Which means we're going on an NPR news diet this week at La Casa de PeaceBang.
No disrespect to the dead, of course.