Is This How We Talk To Women Now?
It all seems of one piece to me.
I was talking with my sister yesterday about a friend of ours whose husband is controlling, insulting and hyper-critical. Our friend is considering separation or even divorce. My sister and I were talking about the fact that times have changed a lot, and women no longer feel that they have to be married for social acceptance or for financial survival. Therefore, they are less likely these days to tolerate verbal abuse and constant harping on their imperfections. They want a supportive partner, but here's the thing... they also want to be treated as a cherished woman, in that specifically romantic hetero-fantasy mode that we've all grown up with.
I'm not sure the hetero male world has figured this out yet. But let me explain it. Fellas, it's not either/or proposition where either you get to be the big macho lug who treats your "little lady" like a fragile, dependent flower OR you get to have an equal partner in life who doesn't need all that old-fashioned girlie stuff, and with whom you can be sloppy and coarse as you wanna be. The fact is, women -- even feminists -- still appreciate good manners, and even -- I'm giving away a big secret here! -- a tiny bit of the princess-on-the-pedestal stuff.
But at the very least, we don't want to be called pigs, bitches and whores.
Could you all talk amongst yourself about this? Thank you, PB.