Pollen Brain
I was thinking of writing a new "Welcome To Our Church" letter that goes to new families in the area, but my mind is so pollen-fogged that all I can do is stare at the computer and drool and try to keep my eyes open.
I did come up with one usable concept, but I can't write today for monkey doo-doo. Care to wordsmith this for me, blog geniuses? It's just two big run-on sentences right now. Help. Even recommending chucking the whole thing would be fine. Or you chuck it and rewrite it. Or just bring me a slice of chocolate cake. Something.
"Unitarian Universalism is a movement whose members come together around the idea that sharing religious life with people of diverse beliefs is of great benefit to personal spiritual development. We try to live out our lives in the spirit of South African civil rights leader Stephen Biko, who said, 'We regard our living together not as an unfortunate mishap warranting endless competition among us, but as a deliberate act of God to make us a community of brothers and sisters jointly involved in the quest for a composite answer to the varied problems of life.'"
I did come up with one usable concept, but I can't write today for monkey doo-doo. Care to wordsmith this for me, blog geniuses? It's just two big run-on sentences right now. Help. Even recommending chucking the whole thing would be fine. Or you chuck it and rewrite it. Or just bring me a slice of chocolate cake. Something.
"Unitarian Universalism is a movement whose members come together around the idea that sharing religious life with people of diverse beliefs is of great benefit to personal spiritual development. We try to live out our lives in the spirit of South African civil rights leader Stephen Biko, who said, 'We regard our living together not as an unfortunate mishap warranting endless competition among us, but as a deliberate act of God to make us a community of brothers and sisters jointly involved in the quest for a composite answer to the varied problems of life.'"
posted by PeaceBang at 8:26 PM
3 Comments:
Maybe a shorter quote? I tend to skim over wordy quotes for no real reason.
Love your blogs, by the way!
Oh, sympathies. I know the leadenbrained feeling. Right now, it's just my eyes itching...
Here's a hack at it.
Intro previously. Make it clear you're talking about our movement first. Then...
"We come together believing that there is great benefit to our spiritual development in sharing our religious life with people whose beliefs are diverse. Naturally strong, muscular beliefs and perspectives develop in such an environment. Just as agriculture has found that monocultures encourage destructive insects, so we believe that religious monoculture does as well.
"The South African civil right leader and martyr, Stephen Biko, said "We regard our living together not as an unfortunate mishap warranting endless competition among us, but as a deliberate act of God to make us a community of brothers and sisters jointly involved in the quest for a composite answer to the varied problems of life." So it is with us. A vibrant religious ecology, in which we engage and cooperate with our brothers and sisters, is infinitely more diverse and preferable to a theocracy."
You might want to investigate the average academic level of your community, or people moving into your community, and take that into consideration.
My first reaction was "wow ... these people are way too highbrow for me". And I, of course, am a UU. (Perhaps not so obviously, a college graduate).
I inferred the correct meaning of "monoculture" (but looked it up just to be sure). And to be honest, including a phrase like "religious ecology" sounds like you're trying to weed out most of the readers.
Post a Comment
<< Home