Friday, September 16, 2005

PeaceBang In Mourning

We were just talking about the good death, weren't we?

My beloved Uncle Marvin died in his sleep last night.

If I could only express what a titan this man was. He was a sexy, vibrant, wine-quaffing, world-traveling babe at 82 and he would have so hated to have become old and infirm. I have no complaints there. Neither would he have. The night before he died he was at a fabulous party in Utah, and was reportedly the belle of the ball. When I say he was a babe, I mean he was a babe. See what I mean? Paul Newman-level babe, with a great golf handicap. Here he is a few weeks ago, wearing the family uniform of navy blue blazer and khaki pants (that's vacation. In winter you get a tie and some other kind of trousers, and Bali loafers).

Unk Marv

He also, ironically enough, had just had a full check-up and had received an A+ stellar clean bill of health. Cholesterol low. Arteries terrific. Etc. His doctor will plotz.

Domineering Jewish papa, patriarch of us all (his younger brother, my dear Uncle Dick, joked with him days before he died that he was tired of being the "Patriarch-In-Waiting") the whole clan of us twelve cousins, and our seventeen children. Husband of Mae for sixty years, Army colonel (he will be buried at West Point) and absolutely no nonsense.

He thought this war with Iraq was a despicable, cowardly mess and no excuse for it.

The world felt safer with Uncle Marvin in it.

Uncle Marv and I exchanged e-mails on September 8th on If anyone knows how I might retrieve a deleted e-mail, I sure would like to know. I have found my letter to him, but I don't have his to me and it would be lovely to have it.

Hold to your loved ones real tight tonight. As the poet Mary Oliver would say (or I may be paraphrasing), "Let the small, soft animal of your body love what it loves."


Blogger TheCSO said...

Sorry to hear that. CC and I will have you in our thoughts this weekend.

You have a couple of avenues that might work for getting that email back. The first, and you've probably already done this, is to check your Deleted Items or Trash folder. If you move already read mail there, it doesn't show as having anything in it unless you actually go to the folder. Always good to check the simple things first.

Your other option is to get access to his email account. Sometimes they will let next-of-kin get access, though I'm not sure what MSN's policy or procedure is. There was that story about the parents of some kid who was killed in Iraq getting access to his webmail accounts in the news a couple of months ago.

Or it might be as simple as having whoever's actually in front of his computer try going to MSN. He might have left his computer set to log in automatically, or it's possible that he either told someone else close to him what his password is, or wrote it on a postit stuck to his monitor.

Or someone close to him might know the answer to his "I forgot my password" question easily enough. Granted, doing all this is sorta in a grey area, but no one cares when it's next of kin getting last emails from their loved one back.

Good luck. I hope this helps.

Blogger PeaceBang said...

Hey CSO, thanks. Marvin was on AOL and I bet Aunt Mae can find it at some point. It's not a big deal but it would be sweet to have.

Blogger fausto said...


AOL only keeps old sent e-mails a few weeks. Don't wait too long to ask Aunt Mae.

Blogger Matthew said...

Sorry to hear about your loss. He sounds like a fascinating person.

Blogger Peregrinato said...

PB, I'm catching up on a lot of my blog readings, and I've finally read this. Somehow it slipped my notice. Meh. I'm truly sorry for your loss. Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him, and may he rest in peace.


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