Saturday, January 29, 2005

Fear of Flying

I feel lucky to have gotten out of Georgia about 12 hours ahead of their ice storm. I'm a semi-nervous flier so I was surprised to find myself sitting next to a guy on the way down who was even more nervous than I am. I saw him clutch his armrest a few times and go kind of gray around the mouth as we got ready to land, so I was happy to be able to teach him my trick for making it onto terra firma in a calm fashion: you just breathe steadily and slowly and sing "If I Only Had a Brain." The trick is to sing it really cheerfully, with special emphasis on the "YA da da da da da DA" (you know the part: "I could while away the hours/confirming with the flowers/consulting with the rain... YA da da da da da DA") and calmly brace your hand on the chair in front of you as the plane goes screaming down the runway. This guy was really funny, a jumbo-sized hip hop guy with big dreds, and he said, "That's cool. Can I pick another song?" I told him sure, but it have a high doofus quotient or it might not work. He made me teach him all the words to "If I Only Had a Brain" and we had a grand old time.

I did have one tiny panic attack on the flight from Atlanta to Boston, for which I promptly took one tiny Ativan. I call it "Atta Girl."


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