The Dream Tells the Truth
(From here on in, as I was taught by dream work teacher Jeremy Taylor (www.jeremytaylor.com) I will shift into present tense.)
A handsome man comes up to M. and they kiss. I am shocked and insulted because this man is not her husband and I think "Wait a minute! If she's having an affair with this guy does she actually think that's OKAY to just flaunt it in front of me?" She is terribly blase, as is he. Like, "Cool, babe. See ya later." I feel deeply wounded that she has become so truly shameless.
He leaves and she turns to me. "Don't give me a hard time," she says. "Yes, we're together and yes, it's because I'm bored and unhappy with my husband."
I light into her. My voice is shaking and I am crying but I have all the words: "How DARE you flaunt your infidelity in front of me as if I won't care? How could you do this? I MARRIED you to M., I remember what you promised! You made sacred vows in the presence of God, your closest friends, your family, on the ground of your childhood home where you and I played and dreamed and planned to become good, respect-worthy women together! What the hell is wrong with you! You have two children!! Daughters, to whom you must be an example --- if not you, who else!?"
And then I really can't stop crying as I say,
"And I LOVE M. (her husband). I love him because you love him, and I am invested in your marriage!! So is your entire family, and all your friends, and even other people you work with!"
The scene morphs into another scenario at that point, but there it is.
This isn't a dream about the real M &M, who are adorable and married and happy. It is a dream that reveals the honesty of the fact that what troubles us remains to trouble us until we speak our truth in some fashion, even in the phantom reality of the Dreamtime. Yes, according to Jungian dream theory there is a lot more going on in the dream, where the Friend and the Lover represent aspects of the self and "marriage" becomes an archetypal reality rather than its literal self, but that's more than I intend to go into here. The "ah-ha" for me was to understand that my very soul, and not just my sense of social propriety -- is offended by the notion of infidelity, cheating, and abandonment of vows. I should know this by now but the intensity of the dream made it unmistakable.